kristin has been a bad kristin
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
