If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
