Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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