Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
