The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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