He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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