i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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