your room smells of hookers.
And success
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
