girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
