I cockslap morals
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
two words...techno handjob
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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