chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
