spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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