love makes seman taste better
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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