I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
