If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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