dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize