Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
