it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
