so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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