Please, let me fuck your mom
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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