What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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