yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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