My friends, they love my intelligence
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
3 2 1 whiskey
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
