My hand turned me down
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Can you bring me the toilet please
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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