he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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