should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
