I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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