Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
