He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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