I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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