my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
