The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
