these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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