i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
