I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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