As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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