Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Acid is not a monday night drug
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize