Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
