My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
