Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
