i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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