I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
where are my eyebrows?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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