sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i out mim tonsoeep
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize