My balls are so social today.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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