i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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