I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
