do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
