If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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