Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
