my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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