you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
