Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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