no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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