this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
