:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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