At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
