did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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