Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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