1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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