I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
