You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
