If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
