i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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