Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
