dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
