I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
send nudes
from the living room?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
