Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize