I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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